I have begun to pray the Rosary daily. It has become such a beautiful habit and it brings me so much peace. Some days my mind wanders terribly, others I am counselled by the Mysteries. But always I am left with a serenity blossoming in my heart that grows daily.
The real reason it has become a necessity in my life is because it is the greatest Spiritual Weapon in my arsenal against the enemy of my soul. And the enemy has been coming for me often. His attacks are subtle and too often have caught me unprepared.
The devil has been attacking me with incredible negativity and with increasing frequency. I have several people in my life right now that keep coming at me, usually at a time when I think everything is okay, that famous calm before the storm.
The conversations begin deceptively enough that I'm not quite ready for the truth of the contact. Every time. But to be honest - I would not want to be the kind of person that WAS ready for it. That would mean that I was always looking for something to be wrong and I just don't want to live like that. I will remain ever the optimist even if right now that means a little extra pain.
Suddenly I am bombarded with events and words that stretch back 10, 20 even 30 years. And I'm not exaggerating. I am told to account for things that I have said and done and I am sorry to say that at first I entertained this. It felt like the clash of different perspectives, the dissonant negativity of a family in crises, I didn't see it for what it was. Spiritual Warfare. The devil was coming for my family.
At first I foolishly fought back. Well yes, I did that, but this person did it too. I slowly began to see that everyone was saying I was responsible for what I did AND for what everyone else did and the confusion of this injustice opened my eyes. (Toxic families of origin is something I intend to explore at some point.)
That is when I began to grab my Rosary with far more intent that I had before. I felt the urgency and the need to protect myself so I can help save my family. I had to find a way to be okay in the realm of the not okay. I had to find peace in the deliberate chaos. I had to find the Light in this vast and shocking Darkness.
And I began to see. To see the "not okay" and the chaos and the Darkness for what it really was. My family had become a playground for those that prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
The negativity of it all was wounding my soul. That was the devil's intent all along because Spiritual Wounds separate us from God.
I think the ones engaging in this battle truly don't understand how dangerous the negativity and the dwelling in the past can be to their eternal souls. I don't think they understand at all that this is not a battle against flesh and blood. So I pray my rosary for them as well. And with every day that passes I become a little more able to withstand the onslaught with a little more peace and equilibrium.
St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him we humbly pray,
And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God,
Cast into Hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.
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